Broken Eyes

My eyes must be broken

Leaking for so long

Just from a couple thoughts

I don’t want you to go

What am I going to do

Without you 

My eyes are broken 

They already long to see you

All the things about you

That gave them life 

My heart is broken

I feel it 

I know it

I’m going to miss you

Beyond my ability to describe 

Hurry up and come back

Fix my heart 

And my eyes

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Painful Truth

Honestly

It didn’t make me feel better

Finding out I was right

About her all along

It actually hurt knowing

That she was still lying

And that she’d never change

I lost so much

Even pieces of myself

Heart’s Wishes

My heart feels pain seen in my face

In times of solitude it makes me wish three wishes

In it’s place

Wishes that have been in there for so long

Because of everything that has happened to us

I wish I knew how to love without killing myself

Because sometimes I love the wrong people

Even love to much when I know I shouldn’t

I wish I knew how to mend hearts without breaking my own

Always giving more of myself to others

At the sake of my own happiness

I wish I knew how to kiss and not create bruises

My lips not knowing how to be gentle

Ravage others in the presence of passion

I feel the pain of my heart

But I have only one wish of my own

I wish all the pain would end soon

Unknowingly Replaced

She had given up everything she had for him

Changed on the outside and even within

Even her outlook on love was different

She began to settle instead of fight

At the end of the day

She thought she did everything right

Slapped in the face

She didn’t even know

That she was already replaced

All the work she had done

Was thrown down the drain

Hurt so badly

That she would never

Easily love again

She thinks on it daily

What could she have done better

To keep him here with her

Dreams Are Made of Glass

What do you do?

When all your dreams

No longer

Belong to you

When your life’s plans

End up

In another’s hand

The ideas

Created together

Are being used

To make another

Happy

What do you say?

When it’s all

Taken away?

In the blink of an eye

The basket with all the eggs

Hits the floor

Nothing for breakfast tomorrow

Where do you go

When the place

You once called home

Feels strange

Like it’s all

Rearranged

What do you do

When you realize

It was never for you

And they never

Loved you

Genesis

A heart

Slowly beating

The rhythm

Steadily repeating

A hand appears from behind

Then starts to clench

Talk about heart-wrenched

The fingernails pierce the flesh

With ease they tear

The faint heartbeat

Becomes harder to hear

Blood oozes out

Forming a puddle on the floor

Suddenly it seems like

The heart beats no more

It is now dead

The floor stained red

Out from the puddle

Comes a monster’s head

He licks his lips

He smells fresh meat

Who will be the first victim?

Who will become his treat?

 

Heartbreak changes people…

Walking Away from the Love of My Life

I wipe the tears as they trickle down her face. One, two, three. Every third tear takes a different route down her face, the trails look like branches. Her face is wet. The tears are falling faster than my fingers can move to stop them. She’s just looking at me, sad. We both are.

We’ve been sitting in the car for ten minutes now trying to figure what we’re going to do with the situation that we found ourselves in. It’s too complicated for us to be this close. There’s too much for us both to lose. Her mouth opens as she begins to plead to me. I put my finger on her lips and mouth no to her. I just keep repeating the action every time her mouth opens. I shake my head and stare deep into her eyes. She’s staring right back with just as much intensity as I am.

The tears are still coming. How are we going to walk away from this? How are we going to survive this? We both have found the one person in life that we love above all else. She finally gets two words out. “I can’t”. I still shake my head, but say nothing. “I don’t know how to”. I know that at the end of both of those sentences, three words are missing. Each time I finish for her in my head “Live without you”.

I share her feelings, but I know, just like she does, that we are going to have to find a way to get through this. We’re going to have to walk out of each other’s lives. Again. I still shake my head, trying to hold back tears of my own, but say nothing. I could never take seeing her cry.

I finally speak and tell her exactly what she means to me and exactly what walking away from her will do to me. I tell the truth. She is what I have always been looking for. Then something tears in me. The music playing from the speakers, the moment we are in, it all comes together and I can’t take it anymore. I can’t stay in this car anymore.

I remind her that I will always be here for her and that I never stopped being here for her. She nods. I kiss her on the forehead. I say goodbye and begin to step out the car. I can feel her resistance to letting me go. I take my time to release my fingers from her hand.

I don’t look back. I can’t. If I do, I will get back in the car. I need her, I love her. But I can’t have her, I can’t love her. I walk across the parking lot and back into the building I came from. I never look back, I can’t look back. I get to my office and just sit at my desk. I stare are the laptop screen in front of me. I can’t enter data. I can’t make sense of anything. My lunch sits on the table next to me, getting cold. I’ve barely made a dent. No appetite. No will to do anything. It feels like my world has come crashing down around me.

I look out the window and see the car still parked in the spot. Every fiber in my body wants to run back to her. To hold her. To let her know that everything is going to be okay. I will myself to stay in my seat, to stay at my desk. I text her and ask her if she wants me to come back. She says no. If I do she will never be able to go through with this. I agree.

I sit watching the car. The reverse lights come on. I feel the sadness. The car backs out of the spot. More sadness. Then the car pulls away. There goes my everything. There goes my future. There goes the love of my life. There goes a tear from my right eye.

What will I do next?

(Image from Google)