Haunted Every Day

How do you deal with depression? I’m not even talking about your own depression. How do you help someone you love out of this hole they find themselves in?

The truth is that all you can do is be there for them. They will only get better if they want to. There’s no rushing then out of it. No loving them out of it. At that point your own insecurities come into play. Why aren’t you good enough? Why can’t you help? You know it’s not about you, but it’s hard to not think that way.

If you’re in love, I mean head over heels in love, then the fear of losing them haunts you Every. Single. Day. You know how depression usually ends. You expect to wake up one day and get the worst news of your life.

You’ll know that there was never anything that you could do. You wouldn’t force them to do anything that they didn’t want to do, so how would you get them to get help if they didn’t want it? Is it your fault? Even though you know it isn’t, that thought is now the one that haunts you Every. Single. Day.

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Haunting Choices

I’ve made many choices before
Some turned out better than others
And the rest
Well…
Lest just say that things could have been better
These choices left me in positions
Ones that I have not been in in a while
They almost erased my smile….

Look into my eyes and see the lonely tears
They watched on as their brothers and sister went before them
Across my face and onto the floor
They had no choice but to come forth from my eyes
My eyelids had no choice but to close
And with every beat another one slipped through
My heart is shattered into pieces
Yet every single piece loves you the same as the whole
Just the thought of you warms me
So I guess I know now
How to run from the cold
Though it would be better…
If your body I could hold

I made the choice to stay
Even though it was clear that it would cause me pain
When I was down and out I came back
Again and again
I will always remain out of sight and out of mind
Hurt by something they say is blind
I didn’t want the choice of any other than that one:
The one that I think of more than anything else
The one I love to see smile
The one that I love.

It was my choice
You were my choice
I was unable to change your mind
Stuck with the decision my heart made
Freedom is close
But these choices haunt me like ghosts
As sure as the sky is blue
There are still times
That I think of you
When I look back in the end
I’ll say that I would do it
All over again