30 Day Challenge – Day 10

Day 10 – Discuss your first love and first kiss.

I am going to break this into parts because my idea of love has changed and evolved over the years.All names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved.

Amber. Kindergarten to Sixth Grade. I don’t know how I knew I loved her, but I always knew that I did. She was bright. There was always an aura around her. She was the first girl that I ever kissed. I know that we were young, but it felt special to me. I used to treat her the way that Steve Urkel would treat Laura Winslow. I used to watch the show every Friday and use the lines and moves on her on Monday. She was the first person that I felt a special way for.

Destiny. Summers from 1998 to 2002. The love that never was. The first girl that hit me with the love at first sight. Her smile hit me and that was it. I was hooked on her. The thing is, I never told her. I never acted on it in the way that I would now. I would just hope that she would be around the following summer. I continued to go back to Dominica until 2005. So, you know what that means. One summer, she moved. In the same week that I got back to the village, I saw her and her family with bags waiting for the bus to the airport. I never saw her again.

Snake. 2004-2005. My only regret. I don’t have any regrets in life, but being with her is one of them. I had my share of bad relationships before, but this is by far the worst. I was madly in love with her for some reason. I know, high school romance is supposed to be fleeting, but I couldn’t help myself at the time. I would have done anything for her and I did. She knew that and maybe that’s why it was so easy for her to take advantage of me. She cheated on me because she knew that I would always take her back each time. Even on my birthday. Yup. No day was sacred. The day I left is the day I took my life back. She taught me that love can hurt horribly at times. I am glad that I took something from it.

Cass. 2007-2011?. Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda. This is the love that I destroyed. I was still broken after snake. I felt that no one could be trusted. I was a wreck. Did so many things that I didn’t have to. I broke her emotionally when all she wanted to do was love me. I wish I could take it all back.

Anne. Current. Real love. This love feels the way that they write about in stories and portray in the movies. There is no forcing or any lies. Everything is going smoothly. I never have a dull day and I always look forward to the next one. She is my inspiration.

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